I encourage each of you to think back to a time, that maybe you did not have closure on something or someone and if at all possible to try and reconnect to this person or thing.  Acknowledge the moment, wrap your mind and body around the resolution, however large or small and embrace it.

By request (not quite sure why except maybe for comedy purposes...this is the picture and post I made on Face book Dec 19, 2009..)   Yes friends..parts of "IT" is still on my ceiling......

What is this picture you ask? This is a pic of what my fabulous son decided to throw on the ceiling. When asked why he did it, his comment was....."it was supposed to fall down MOM" and not stick!" Hence the tongs and trying to peel it off. GUESS WHAT...Now I have what looks like snot with eyes stuck on my dining room ceiling!!!!!



Every day, I have a reason. I believe that I have the best excuses in the book as to why I do not find the time to write and here are just a few of mine:

1. First I am intensely busy with end of the year "stuff" with my kids.

2. I have also "re-opened" my Kelly and the Angel on-line store. Even though there are few items listed, it seems, people want them, and I am very blessed to be shipping out products.

3. Dance, Soccer, school, all ending at the same time keeps me chauffeuring constantly.

4. I have been retained by several new clients to help de-clutter their homes and two new clients for simple web design.

5. We have two new kittens in the home, and even though we have been attempting to find them a home, I am resigning myself to the fact that THIS actually may be the home for them.

Yet, sitting and contemplating my whirlwind, much loved life, I painfully realize that these are excuses. As I have stated in the past, I LOVE writing, and when you truly love something you should do it. I "preach" this to people all of the time in my work. So why haven't I written lately?

My answer became clear to me. As I was attempting to get myself re-motivated to write, I started reading some of the old blogs and cringed when I read my quit smoking blogs....(Yup, the mother of motivation has fallen off of the wagon.) I did not realize how much I have been beating myself up over this until today. There it was in print, my failure. This coming from the same person that states at least 10 times a week "FAILURE IS AN EVENT, NOT A PERSON" to anyone that will listen. I temporarily lost hope in myself, and subconsciously it has been eating me up. I have been making more than enough excuses, to hide my guilt of starting smoking again.

I have made it a commitment, a mission, if you will to convince people, that of all of the things to let go of in their lives, is to never let hope be one of them. Here I was feeling hopeless and addicted to a habit that will kill me if I do not stop. In looking up the definition of hope this is what I read:

The definition of hope is a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one’s life. Hope is the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best. To hope is to wish for something with the expectation of the wish being fulfilled, a key condition in unrequited love. Hopefulness is somewhat different from optimism in that hope is an emotional state, whereas optimism is a conclusion reached through a deliberate thought pattern that leads to a positive attitude.

I have read many, many books of Dr. Wayne Dyer. His "new" one Excuses Begone! is fantastic and I encourage you all to read it!  Here is an except that impacted me today in my own struggle.

You can bring your desires to consciousness by disconnecting the power from your subconscious so that it can’t continue to run your life. Your subconscious (habitual) mind is accessible, so unearth the excuses buried deep within you. Become conscious!

Moving forward, my hope is renewed, my faith restored, and my blog is back.  Will I be a non-smoker? ABSOLUTELY  YES!   Failure is an event, not a person.

Peace, Love and HOPE to everyone!

Kelly

Day two and Mrs. Motivation herself is having a tough time.   My head is currently spinning around on my shoulders, and  is about to pop off.   One of my saving graces is that my children are in school today and I am a mediator.  ***ok , probably should have meditated before writing this ****

One of the people I told was Pastor Chuck....pulling him aside after church yesterday, I asked if he would pray for me every time I popped into his head.    He smiled and offered his support, even suggested I call him during my worst of times.   NOPE!!!!  I don't even want to talk to myself right now.....

One of the things I am doing is every day (starting yesterday) I am putting $7.91 in a can (Massachusetts pricing for one pack of cigarettes)  Figured I might as well, to see how much I can save :)

Send me good energy, good thoughts, good vibes ....this is a good thing, this is a good thing, this is a good thing, this is a good thing, this is a good thing....

BUT PLEASE, do not ask me how I am doing because I may have to be honest ......

At 41 Mothers Day still evokes the strangest of emotions within me. The stirring of feelings used to be overwhelmingly sad at my loss of what I used to believe a mother was.

From the age of five, my definition of mother turned dark for it was then that my siblings and I were “taken away” from our mother and placed in foster homes. There are ten of us. The oldest was placed with my Grammy Heald, two twin boys were placed with foster parents in Jackman, Maine; the next two oldest were placed with my Uncle and Aunt; the sister closest in age to me and I also went to Jackman to live with a different foster family than my brothers. One of my younger half sisters stayed with my mother as did the youngest girls, who were also twins.

Over the next twelve years my sister and I would live in 5 foster homes. If you had asked me what the definition of mother was back then, I probably would have said “I don’t know”. Most of the homes we were placed in, insisted that we call them “Mom”; (Looking back now that seems strange, and if you are considering becoming a foster parent, probably NOT a good idea). The problem with calling all of them Mom is that after a period of time, the Social Worker would come and remove us to place us in a new home. Then we would get a “new” mom. My idea of a mom became dispensable. Not a healthy view. Many of the moms were good. Treated us the best that they could or that they knew how. The one thing my sister and I always knew with the mother of the day was that we were definitely NOT their children. This was always made very clear.

My birth mother passed away in 2006. I was shocked at the level of sadness that I felt at her passing. Here was a woman I had forgiven decades ago and never harbored any bad feelings because of my childhood, but I really didn’t know. Yet it hurt. Not a little bit, I mean really hurt. I spent many days in meditation trying to process the emotions what were literally cutting through my heart. After a while, and in watching my own children grow, I realized that no matter what happens in our lives, we are born to one woman. Just one. This mother was my birth mother and we were connected. I needed to grieve; and I did.

At the passing of my mother from this life, I realized that I was sent many, many moms along my journey to guide me; be there for me; love me. Those women did not give birth to me, but they nurtured me. Some of those women are older than me, same age as me, younger than me; some have children, some do not. Yet, they are all mothers because they provide love, nurture, guidance, acceptance, creativity. I am truly blessed.

Happy Mothers Day!

I received an email from a good friend of mine. It is Friday, so JUST FOR FUN these are the thoughts for this morning.

Enjoy

Kelly

1. Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of an ice cream cone to prevent ice cream drips.

Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway!

2. To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix. Keeps in the pantry for up to a year.

3. When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

Go to the bakery! Hell, they'll even decorate it for you!

4. If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant 'fix-me-up.'

If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: 'I made it, you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!'



5. Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

Celery? Never heard of it!


6. Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I don't.


7. Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink! All your pains go away!

8. If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dish washing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.


Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.



9. Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.


Leftover wine??????????? HELLO!!!!!!!

I am the Queen of de-clutter, right?  The Martha Stewart of Malden, right?  Well today that is absolute CRAP.  Quite frankly, my cape is ripped, I can't fly and I would like to just dump all of the "stuff" into trash bags, hide it in a closet and forget about it until some other day.  Of course I was the idiot to begin with, first thing this morning, who decided to dump a laundry basket of clothes on the bed.  Stating to "self" with a (pompous arrogance), that I would have plenty of time through the course of my day to get it done.  ***starting to bang head on the coffee table while chanting***.  Idiot.

Yes Superman!   Supermom's get tired.  Cranky.  AND their period all in one day.

'nuff said.......

We quickly left, before the begging began with the children.  When we got back to the Hotel our rooms were ready and I was pleasant surprised at how comfortable the rooms were.

We arrived back home today, and we are tired.....But I want to close on our trip and say that I finally met what I would consider a wonderful staff member at the Marriott.  

I went outside to have a smoke before the flight back (yes, there still are a few of us left).  To be able to smoke at the Marriott, you have to go around the building to the Waterfront area.  This is what I did this morning.  There was a worker sweeping up the cigarette butts off of the brick walkway.  I said good morning and he seemed startled that I even acknowledged him.  "You know," I said,, if you put a container out with sand in it, us smokers would probably stop dropping them on the ground and it would be easier to clean up. "  (I was kind of proud of myself because, I had come up with this "great" idea.)  "I don't mind ma'am" he replied back; almost shyly.  I immediately got the impression that not to many people stopped to talk to him.  He then smiled and said, "I do good at my job, and I like what I do". 

I stared at him a moment, then smiled back.  "You know what?" I said, "You DO, do a good job and I can tell the way this whole area is spotless that you like what you do."  Can I tell you, his whole demeanor changed.  He stood just a tich taller and as he walked away, he had a bit of a spring to his step.  This is an employee the Marriott should be proud of.

We landed yesterday (Sunday), arrived at our hotel and all they (the kiddo's) want to do is eat and go to the pool.  Since I was very hungry, we headed over the ESPN zone in downtown Baltimore.  The food was FABULOUS!   Over dinner, we discussed our plans and it was voted to NOT go to visit the White House but hang around our hotel and go shopping.   Go figure....FINE with me, I tell them.   I am constantly going every day 24/7.  This seems like it may turn into a relaxing vacation after all.

Kelly's Critique:

Hotel:

We are staying at the Marriott Hotel at Baltimore Waterfront.  The Hotel is gorgeous and as my five year old states walking into the front entry way, "Very Shiny"  with all of the marble detail.  The Concierge was fabulous during check in.  Very welcoming. Our room was not ready, which did not set well with me at first considering that it was 4:00 pm in the afternoon, but they quickly worked at correcting that.  The bell hop stored our bags and we went off to dinner at the ESPN Zone and were quite happy to be wandering around the waterfront.

NEXT HOTEL STAFF AND ESPN ZONE: