Quietly and with only telling two people yesterday, I gave myself a Mother's Day gift.  It was a box of nicotine patches (which I really think are defective :(        All day Saturday, I prepared myself; said goodbye to my old friend each and every time I went outside to have one..... and I have come to the conclusion that I ENJOY SMOKING!!!!  I really do. (I know that all the non-smokers that are reading this do not understand yet all of the smokers or past smokers do.) 

Day two and Mrs. Motivation herself is having a tough time.   My head is currently spinning around on my shoulders, and  is about to pop off.   One of my saving graces is that my children are in school today and I am a mediator.  ***ok , probably should have meditated before writing this ****

One of the people I told was Pastor Chuck....pulling him aside after church yesterday, I asked if he would pray for me every time I popped into his head.    He smiled and offered his support, even suggested I call him during my worst of times.   NOPE!!!!  I don't even want to talk to myself right now.....

One of the things I am doing is every day (starting yesterday) I am putting $7.91 in a can (Massachusetts pricing for one pack of cigarettes)  Figured I might as well, to see how much I can save :)

Send me good energy, good thoughts, good vibes ....this is a good thing, this is a good thing, this is a good thing, this is a good thing, this is a good thing....

BUT PLEASE, do not ask me how I am doing because I may have to be honest ......